Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Urban etiquette: an occasional series

Today's topic: At the movies

So last night Super Hot Irish Girlfriend had Book Club at our house, which is an all-female event and thus not conducive to my easygoing, albeit male, presence. So I hied myself down to the Century 20 Daly City to see "I Love You Man", not because I'm in complete awe of the whole Apatow school of comedy but because basically it was the least offensive thing at around 7:00 p.m. What am I going to see, "The Fast and the Furious"? Or maybe "Hannah Montana". I'd love to have to explain that to the police when they inevitably arrive.

ANYWAY, I get there and it's clearly a younger crowd, maybe average age 25. And there's the usual talking during the previews, but hey, that ship sailed a long time ago. Then the movie starts and the couple behind me (both wearing SFSU sweatshirts, for what it's worth) talk through the whole goddam thing.

Here's the rule, and I can't believe I have to even say this, because it's so basic like "Don't spit in a stranger's mouth" or "Don't stop to chat with the Bay Bridge toll taker," but here it is: When you're at the movies, keep your fucking mouth shut. If you're not having a heart attack or a PCP freakout, there is no fucking thing important enough to share right then.

(Sidenote: Yes, I appreciate the irony of going alone to a movie that's basically about a guy who has no friends. But I actually like going to movies alone every once in a while and there's usually not such a blatant connection to what's going on onscreen.)

You know one thing I liked about Ireland? Well, one of many? I went to a movie there with SHIG's best friend's boyfriend and a couple of other guys and a couple of people whispered during the movie and the WHOLE FUCKING THEATER basically went SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! really loud and I guess there's some kind of cultural thing where the Irish like complete silence during movies and I wish we had that here.

I don't know what it was about this particular movie, but couples (and yes, it mostly attended by younger couples) all over the theater were chatting it up. Fuck. I blame the parents. From the time they're infants, these kids get taken to the Finding Nemos and the Little Mermaids and the parents probably (I'm guessing here, as I don't see a lot of G-rated films in theaters) let their little brats yap through the whole thing. So they grow up thinking it's ok. It's not OK.

I guess I'll stick to seeing "Depressing Yet Quirky Characters Trade Bon Mots in a Plotless Urban Milieu," 8:15 at the Embarcadero Cinema. Nobody ever talks during the movie there.

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