Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm a little Aspergy. Like I've got a touch of some low-grade autism that maybe's never been detected. I know, SHOCK.
I get this feeling because sometimes I fail at small talk and I can't figure out if I'm missing some obvious social clues or if the other person is just retarded. Case in point: I'm in the kitchen at work, filling up my water bottles (because I drink like 2 liters of water a day at work, but don't try to make this into some kind of Aspergy thing because I just like to drink water, it's not like I have to drink exactly 2 liters a day or something) and a Coworker #1 comes in and examines the empty coffee pot. The following exchange occurs:
Coworker #1: [Coworker #2] is just so clean, isn't she?
(OK, my mind goes into high gear, trying to figure out exactly WTF this could possibly mean. Did Coworker #2 smell bad today and I just didn't pick up on it and Coworker #1 is dissing her with sarcasm? I don't think so. Think, TK, think, goddamit!)
TK: What do you mean?
Coworker #1: [Beaming like a child or something] She washed the coffee pot already!
So I want to know - should I have been able to decipher this ahead of time? How the fuck do I know that Coworker #2 cleaned the coffee pot? I mean, what kind of reaction was Coworker #1 expecting?
In other news, today was one of those days when basically every story in the newspaper made me ANGRY. Like Taxpayers may bear cost of raising octuplets and Judges accused of jailing juveniles for cash and Mandy Moore's getting married to Ryan Adams. OK, the last one didn't make me "mad," I guess, but it provoked some kind of upsetting reaction that I haven't yet figured out.
Back to the woman with the Golden Retriever-like litter of children: There's nothing more I can say that hasn't been said, and all the outrage has been pretty much completely justified in my view and I can't think of any rational defense for anyone having 14 children, much less a single mom, but I just have to say that I love, love, love the term "Octomom." OCTOMOM!