Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Modern Nursery Rhymes


Mary had an online troll
Online troll, online troll
Mary had an online troll
Who ruined her Internet

It followed her around online
Round online, round online
It followed her around online
Leaving disturbing threats

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~

Itsy bitsy spider signed up with Instacart
Down came her pay and broke the spider’s heart
Out came the lawyers who sued up and down the line
Now Itsy’s an employee, not a 1099

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~

The New Bay Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down
The New Bay Bridge is falling down
Lack of oversight!

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~


Baa baa No Vaxx Sheep, have you a disease?
Yes sir, yes sir, I have all of these:
Measles, rubella, whooping cough too 
Got a personal exemption; I don’t care about you

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~

Twinkle twinkle little bar
How I wonder where you are
Shelf of bourbon, shelf of rye
I need a drink or I’m gonna die
Twinkle twinkle little bar
Please be open, I’m not far

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man
Make me some edibles as fast as you can
Doctor said pot would cure tinnitus in my ear
But who gives a crap, it’ll be legal next year!

~~~~~ ** ~~~~~

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had rent control so it was only a hundred and two
But the landlord is Ellising her so soon she’ll be out
And the landlord will charge 12 times that amount!

3 comments:

Michael Strickland said...

Since nobody else is commenting, let me just say you're on a serious roll around here. My favorite, being an ancient freelancer currently in his first "real" job in 35 years, was of course:

Itsy bitsy spider signed up with Instacart
Down came her pay and broke the spider’s heart
Out came the lawyers who sued up and down the line
Now Itsy’s an employee, not a 1099

TK said...

Thanks, Michael! Yeah, I don't know. Maybe blogging just isn't cool any more.

(SPOILER: Blogging was never cool.)

Stoney said...

Excellent. Much needed laugh.