Ugh, that was an ugly little scene last night. First inning, nothing really happens. Top of second, nothing really happens. Bottom of second, ARMAGEDDON CAGE MATCH WITH FIRE EXPLOSIONS.
- Alex Gordon singles
- Salvador Perez singles
- Mike Moustakas doubles, Gordon scores
- Omar Infante strikes out. WHEW, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OK. IT'S ONLY 1-0.
- Alcides Escobar singles
- Nori Aoki singles. Perez scores. Everything is not going to be ok. Peavy out, Pettit in.
- Lorenzo Cain singles. Moustakas and Escobar score. Everything is terrible. Men fall to their knees. Women weep and rend their garments. A baby is heard crying in the distance.
- Eric Hosmer doubles. Aoki and Cain score. And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood.
- Billy Butler, who looks like Larry the Cable Guy after reconstructive facial surgery, doubles. Hosmer scores.
- Gordon grounds out. Perez flies out.
- The fifth angel sounds; locusts upon the Earth advance to second on wild pitch; great dragon scores.
Nothing much else happened. The Royals scored some more and the Giants didn't. In the interest of comic relief, human tire fire Hunter Strickland appeared in some inning - 6th? 7th? who the fuck knows? - and promptly gave up a home run that sportswriters are contractually obligated to describe as "towering." At this point, we can only describe Bruce Bochy's fascination with Hunter Strickland as disturbing. Meanwhile Tim Lincecum sits on the bench.
You want a hot take? I don't know if you can handle a take this hot. Get suited up.
Ready? Here goes. Chuckleheads like Scott Ostler say to start Madison Bumgarner tonight but that's silly. START LINCECUM. He's got loads of big game experience, his last outings out of the pen have looked good, and he'll blow their fucking minds. BLOW. THEIR. MINDS.
Tim Hudson is nice and a good story and all but Tim Lincecum has a proven track record of winning World Series games. If he struggles, boom, bring in Hudson or Pettit again or Julian fucking Tavarez for all I care, just START TIMMY.
Somebody get me a Change.org petition going. THOSE ALWAYS WORK.
So that's it. Tonight is the whole thing. We have a pediatrician appointment at 4 and if that doctor does anything more than twirl her around and say "Yep, looks good," we are taking that toddler and marching right the fuck out. PARENTING!
See you tomorrow.