BASEBALL IS BACK. Now, of course I'm not going to blog about or even watch every Giants game this season, but I watched most of last night's Opening Night game and I am going to write about it now.
I may also complain about Walking Dead again, so hold on.
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS. Here's what happens. Madison Bumgarner pitches pretty good but during the long layoff everybody else forgot how to play baseball. They all fuck up in various ways and it's 7-3. FUCK THIS we say and start watching last week's episode of The Real World.
BRIEF AND EMBARRASSING DIVERSION: Yes, we are hate-watching The Real World this season, ONLY because it's ostensibly set in San Francisco but it's not any San Francisco I know. It's a San Francisco where the only restaurant is Subway and the only bar is something called Infusion Lounge which I hope hope hope is not a real place but is instead something constructed just for this series because it looks like hell on Earth. Also, these people are all idiots, no surprise there. At least they're not running a startup that builds apps to coordinate when to get into a Bro Fight or how to get to Infusion Lounge.
We're about 15 minutes into another episode of Basically Just Eating Subway Sandwiches and Having a Bro Fight when I look at my phone and now it's 7-6! How Giants of you! Back to the game in time to see some hapless Arizonan WALK IN THE TYING RUN. At that point, you know the Giants are going to win. I have no way of checking this but I bet the Giants have won every single game in which the other team walked in the tying run.
So yes, they won. Buster Posey hit a big home run and Sergio Romo tried to go all Brian Wilson and put some runners on and give up a run before finally nailing it down. Giants win, 9-8. Not all Giants fans were winners, though.
2 theories about the Gaints sign holder: (1) Hopefully they're Arizonans, or (2) They did it on purpose in a desperate bid for attention. SUCCESS!
Now, Walking Dead. Remember the joke on Seinfeld about how it was a show about nothing? Walking Dead takes that to a new level because it's a show where NOTHING EVER HAPPENS. Well, not exactly. I mean, things happen to the characters SOMETIMES (and sometimes there are episodes like that one with Darryl and Beth this season where literally nothing at all happened) but the problem with the show is that there is no overarching plot arc. I mean, we've had 4 seasons of characters stumbling around and stabbing zombies in the head, to what end? Nothing. Is anything ever going to happen? Is there a cure for zombie or do we just watch them go through their lives in zombie world forever? Why am I watching this show? I have no idea.