Doe, a dude, a dude you know

Everybody knows the "Do Re Mi" song from "Sound of Music," but it's clear we could improve on the lyrics.  "Sew, a needle pulling thread"?  Sure, maybe in the Middle Ages!  And "La, a note to follow So"?  Totally phoning it in.  Let's update.

Doe, a dude, a dude you know

Ray, the guy who banged Kardash

Mi, that crazy singer chick

Fa, a million meter dash

Tso, I love that bird to death

Lah, that girl from the Internet

Tea, a name for crystal meth

Which brings us back to doe

What up doe