Thursday, August 8, 2013

What to see and enjoy at Outside Lands this year

Artists

MSTRCLNS - Angular dance-rock featuring whirring, angry guitars, strained vocals and a drum machine.  Their latest, "Show Me To Your Ektorp," is a concept album about a man trying to escape from an Ikea.



Fawn Wispy - This chanteuse from rural British Columbia was discovered by Jewel playing Jewel covers on the sidewalk in Feathered Horse, BC.  Her delicate songs of longing and love are audible only to those standing nearby.

Yaoundé Yacht Club - These cool white kids have appropriated African rhythms and sounds and married them to their own life experiences to create a can't-miss set of songs about getting wait-listed at Princeton.

The Man and The Parakeet - Rootsy Americana meets a child's Casio keyboard for a sure-to-be-memorable set of songs that he did not spend very much time trying to make good.

DJ ATTACK MODE FLOOR CLEANER - Finally, a 15-year-old has combined dubstep, turtlecore, and an old Dustbuster into a dynamic sound that who are we kidding this is unlistenable.

Ezekiel Freeman and the Freemans - He's back!  After several open-heart surgeries, a heart transplant, and then another open-heart surgery, this legendary frontman is touring again. NOTE: Ezekiel Freeman will not appear onstage.

Wolfchair - Indie rock featuring jangly guitars and nasally vocals.

Deerflag - Indie rock featuring nasally guitars and jangly vocals.

[NOTE: Due to a cocaine shortage, Wolfdeer will be unable to appear at the festival this year.]

In the Artisan Brews beer tent

Try these locally-made beers!

Lack of Summer Wheat - We're hoping this nearly-tasteless beer will placate all you losers who want Bud Light.

Der Alkoholpoisonisch - 12% ABV.  Have 3 or 4 and forget the pain of your daily existence!

Old Tank Skunk Ale - Has it gone bad, or is supposed to taste like that? You're too embarrassed to ask!

Hopocaust - Basically just a glass full of hops mashed down into a paste.

Attractions

Visit the Chevron Eco-Fair, where you can check out interactive exhibits like the Clean the Raw Crude Off the Otter station or try on a Post-Sea-Level-Rise Personal Scuba set! Over at the BankAmerica tent, enjoy a complimentary beverage and feel free to proxy-sign some foreclosure documents!  You don't even have to know anything about the case, it's cool.  Or check out our Build Your Own Personality booth! You'll find it right next to the Neon Sunglasses Disposal Station.

There's also Shrinky Dinks.

5 comments:

thesoniashow said...

I am too ashamed to admit to you how far I got into this post before I realized these weren't real bands.

Tamagosan said...

This is insulting. Everyone knows that Wolfchair is NOT Indie. If you have to ask what genre they are, you do not deserve to get into their rocking-chair session afterparty.

GG said...

@thesoniashow: ME TOO. I was all excited that I was getting to hear about a bunch of new bands that I was surprised not to have ever heard of. :(

Rachel said...

TK, you are a treasure...

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