There are the usual Bad Decisions:
"Crystal" is almost the stripperiest name you can give a kid. It's also convenient because you're naming the kid after her inevitable future drug of choice. Anyway, "Crystal" is bad enough, but those alternative choices veer off from bad to unbelievably bizarre. How do you even pronounce "Chriscylda"? That sounds like a skin disease.
(Yes, I know. "Famenine." Let's keep it to the matter at hand.)
Don't look now, sweetie, but your husband is pulling your leg:
Wait, he might be serious? Oh Jesus. I guess they're at Burning Man right now. Anyway, I have no idea what her little list underneath is supposed to mean. Isn't she mixing up boy and girl names? I guess Fire Star is unisex. "Lanoi" and "Nanoi" is awesome for twins, BTW.
In some cases, we got here too late:
Can you read that? "Siblings so far as Azalea, Wisteria, Camellia, Jedidiah, Sylvia!" Actually, Camellia is fine. Wisteria is just weird. How about Sativa? Or Poison Ivy. Every family needs a Bad Girl. Also, STOP HAVING KIDS.
I guess it's time to put my own poll up.