Friday, August 16, 2013
10 Things I Hate About You: Sesame Street Edition
10 Things I Hate About You
Sesame Street Edition
by Cookie Monster
1. Public Transportation
Why it take so long to get cookie? Because Sesame Street bus fucking suck, that why! If you think Sesame Street bus good, you probably eat vegan cookie! Blech!
2. Dirty street
No street cleaning ever! Snuffleupagus dropping pile up for YEARS. Unions!
3. Cost of Living
Oscar still live in trash can! Can't afford to move. Cookie Monster hear that Dora the Explorer got 4th floor walkup for under 500K. Why Sesame Street so fucking expensive? Unions!
4. Nightlife (or lack thereof)
How come Sesame Street shut down at 10? Me and Elmo always looking for late night dining options! Other than strip club buffet! This town suck.
5. The Count
Fucking Count always hassle Cookie Monster! "1...2....3...." We get it! You know how count! Fucking enough already!
6. Homeless People
They everywhere. What you think they do with money you give them? They buy booze! Just give Grover bottle of Royal Gate, he be happier! Grover spend all money on hooch!
Abby Cadabby think she a 9 but she really a 4! Why she think she have right to speak to Cookie Monster!
8. Start Up Guys
Bert and Ernie always talk about new app! Even when ladies around! No one care about Muppetgrindr, Bert and Ernie!
Every time Big Bird get popped, he back on street hours later! Revolving door justice system keep Sesame Street dangerous! Use to be nice neighborhood.
10. Jason Mraz
Ugh. Why Cookie Monster subjected to this?