StubHub, I love you, but you're making me crazy

I'm not in a season ticket group for Giants tickets any more, and The Wife quit her job at the place where they used to hand out tickets to employees on a regular basis, so we mostly rely on StubHub now to get tickets. Don't get me wrong; it's a great service and Giants tickets on StubHub are almost always cheaper than buying them directly from the Giants.

FOR EXAMPLE, I just looked on the Giants own site for tickets to tonight's game. A pair in Lower Box 127 (Row 15, seats 5 and 6) will set you back a cool $172 after the $30 in "convenience fees" are added on. On StubHub, we've got 2 in Lower Box 127 (Row 14, seats 1 and 2 - closer, and on the aisle!) for a total of $132, including all fees. That's $40 cheaper for better seats. Why the fuck would anyone ever buy tickets from the Giants?

Anyway, The Wife and I are going to the day game on Thursday (I have the day off, so shoot me) and I've been perusing StubHub for a few days to find some seats. StubHub has this "Price Alert" thing where you can designate a seating area and a price and they'll send you an email when it drops below that price.

PROBLEM ONE: THEY ACTUALLY DON'T DO THAT AT ALL.

We like sitting in Club Level cause we fancy like that. So I set up a Price Alert to email me when Club Level Outfield tickets fall below $40 apiece. As of right now, STILL NO EMAILS. Good thing I didn't trust it and kept checking, because I nailed a couple in Club Level outfield this morning at $30 per. WERE YOU JUST GOING TO KEEP THAT A SECRET, STUBHUB? Y U NO EMAIL?

PROBLEM TWO: The iPhone app is basically worthless. You put in the game you want to see and it spits out a list of all 4,000 or whatever available tickets. Sure, you can sort alphabetically or by price, but come fucking on. You should be able to drill down to a specific seating area (i.e., section 221) and see just that section, instead of "Club Level Infield" generally.

PROBLEM THREE: This is apparently StubHub's corporate brand ambassador, "Ticket Oak":


WHAT THE FUCK. How is a vaguely Tolkienesque anthropomorphic talking tree supposed to make me want to buy tickets for Wrestlemania? Oh, fuck, it's got a Facebook page where it says things like "After seeing what these actors go through – hair, makeup, crazy outfits – I’m very thankful I’m a tree and don’t need any of that!" Stop it.

So fix the email alert thing, tighten up that iPhone app, lose the tree, and you'll be golden, StubHub. In the meantime, thanks for all the tickets.