Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Live! Nude! Girls! At your local airport.

Text from The Sister:

HOLY FUCK. You should get to sfo like hours before your flight. The security line is so long there is a holding area to wait in to even get in the line.

Ever since the post-9/11 TSA security theater dance began, I've been wondering what it would take for the American people to finally say "Enough." I figured it would take a lot, because, on the whole, we're pretty much willing to accept anything if you affix an American flag to it and say it's for "national security." I'm pretty convinced that if a couple of guys in military uniform showed up to most people's houses and said they had to search the whole house because they were looking for terrorists, people would go "OK, go ahead!"

But maybe we've finally found the outer limits of what people will put up with. The new full-body scanners (or, if you prefer, "porno-scanners") that show, erm, pretty much everything, have finally got people upset. (Or, if you prefer, you can get a full-body patdown - now including free labial touching!!)

I guess this was occasioned by the "Underwear Bomber," the guy who, as the name implies, tried to blow up a Northwest flight over Detroit with a bomb in his underwear.

(SIDE NOTE - Wouldn't it suck to be the Underwear Bomber in prison? Like, you'd be out in the exercise yard, and Ted Kaczynski comes over and he's all "Hey, I'm the Unabomber" and Terry Nichols is all "What up, I'm one of the Oklahoma City bombers," and you go "Oh, hey guys, I'm the Underwear Bomber" and they look at each other and start snickering and go "Underwear Bomber, huh? What did you do, eat the enchilada platter after drinking all night? That'll bomb some motherfucking underwear, for sure!" And you go "No, for reals! I could have blown up a plane!" But they're already laughing and now even the Shoe Bomber is pointing and laughing at you.)

Remember after the Shoe Bomber, when we had to start taking our shoes off every time we wanted to get on a plane? Now we basically have to make a sex tape or get felt up by a guy with a GED and a French blue shirt just to get to O'Hare. If the next bomber packs 20 grams of C-4 into his rectum, I AM DONE WITH FLYING FOREVER.

ANYWAY. I don't know how this is gonna shake out, but it's nice to know there's one thing that World Net Daily and Salon.com can agree on. THIS FUCKING SUCKS. I get to fly next week, yay.

5 comments:

thesoniashow said...

My husband has been flying nonstop for more than a month for work. He has not done the porno-scan, and he has not been felt up by the TSA agents.

He said it looks like the TSA agents at SFO are pulling people aside at random. I would suggest that they are pulling aside the hottest passengers for the scans and pat downs, but like I said, my husband hasn't been pulled aside yet.

Rocco said...

ugh, i don't care how naked i look or how my civil rights are being violated indirectly by a fucking panty bomber. that sucked.

Tamagosan said...

I'm currently waiting for a plane in Seoul, which is the best airport to spend hours in, I have now determined. Korean baseball on huge flatscreens, flat quiet resting areas, etc. I did spring for a (totally legit) massage here, too, which is so, so recommended. Man, it's gonna suck to be back Stateside for the next week.

Ms LadyCakes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vic said...

What's the big deal? Strip down, get your picture taken, get your balls rubbed.... whoop-de-doo... grow up people. Do you REALLY think the TSA people like this anymore than you do? Oh I forgot, WE are all SO hot and they're not.