Just take the salad and be done with it

So I seem to have found myself back in the old country once again, this time to do some wedding planning, since this is where Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and I will be betrothed, for a number of complicated and/or boring reasons. Anyway, these plans including attending a bridal fair on Saturday, which promises to be either a hoot or a descent into a nightmare that I cannot begin to fathom.

We got here last night in the company of The Sister and proceeded to dinner at a restaurant where we were served by an oddly intrusive waiter hell-bent on making the ordering process as complicated as possible. Seriously, it took like 10 minutes to order dinner, like so:

Dad: "I'll have the salmon."

Overly Intrusive Waiter: "What kind of salad? House salad or caesar?"

Dad: "No salad, thanks."

OIW: "Hmmm, OK, why don't I get you the salmon club then, since you're not having salad? It's cheaper."

Dad: "OK. That's fine then."

Me: "Dad, that's a sandwich."

Dad: "I don't want a sandwich."

OIW: "I'm just trying to help out because it's cheaper."

Dad: "I don't want a sandwich."

OIW: "But you're not having a salad!"

Dad: "Can I just get the dinner without the salad?"

OIW: "OK. Whatever you say."

And so on. Now repeat that for 5 different people and you can see why this was so excruciating.

ANYWAY, off to the wine store now to see what kind of group discount we can negotiate. We'd be able to work out a big discount with an unnamed online wine merchant, since The Sister knows someone who works there, but Tennessee is one of those states with byzantine alcohol laws that include a complete ban on the retail shipping of wine into the state. And you can't buy beer on Sunday, I think. Or maybe Sunday before noon. Or something like that.