Litquake Afterparty, or how I lost the chance to be Amber Tamblyn's bff.

by guest blogger Super Hot Irish Girlfriend

As mentioned in the bf's post, due to his l33t 5killz we were awarded two VIP tix to Litquake and the reception afterwards. He ran down the actual event pretty accurately, so on to the party!! Being an unabashed semi-celebrity whore, I was tres excited for the chance to mingle with the literati, and especially Amber Tamblyn, as she seems like the kind of girl who could get me in touch with John Cusack, thereby kicking off our love story for the ages.

Now, I don't know whether it was a long week at work, the torturous trip home that night (including Muni breakdowns and me getting on a BART train to Oakland instead of 24th Street for some reason), the rain, the dissatisfaction with my outfit, or a combination of all of the above, but by the time we reached the Herbst theatre I was in no mood to be sociable.

As a result, I very dispassionately observed everything from a corner of the balcony thinking the following random stream-of-consciousness thoughts:

"Oh, look! There's Adam Savage and his lovely wife Julia; fellow 30 Rock fans."

"Wow! Amber Tamblyn is surprisingly normal-person sized. I mean, maybe we really could share some traveling pants. That jacket looks great on her. Her arms look good and toned. I should work out more."

"Is that ranch dressing in a little cup on the food table? Ew. Oh, no, what's that, server- lady? It's apparently a milkshake?"

"My milkshake brings all the bo.....DAMN"

"Why does that photographer keep snapping everyone but us? There's only about 12 people out here so far and she has 75 shots of those girls already."

"Oh, thanks photog. I don't need your pity pics because you overheard us discussing*BIG GRIN**CLICK*you snub us."

"I'm not even feeling drunk. I should have some more free wine. Nope! Still nothing"

"Boy, Jonathan Ames appears very wasted. He should sit down somewhere"

"Oh, there's Cintra Wilson standing right next to me. I should tell her good job. Ooh, a cheese plate! Let's just do this instead"

"Who's Amber Tamblyn on the phone to? Hmm. I thought she'd have an iPhone. Curious. Perhaps it's her bf David Cross? Tell him I said hey, girl!"

"Why is Amber Tamblyn staring at my bf? Oh no, wait. She's actually staring at my purse. I know! It's cute, right?!"

"That trip to Ireland where I got my purse was fun"

"Why are we talking to Cintra Wilson's man-friend about cheese?"

"You know, Cintra Wilson's man-friend really looks like Leonard Maltin"

"Beth Lisick's super nice. I should go to Porchlight some time. Maybe I can tell a story about how I blew my chance to charm Amber Tamblyn"

"Yikes, Jonathan Ames is looking really green right now. We should leave before he barfs"

And so we did.

But Amber, if you're out there, I share your dislike of the Vagina Monologues and Sarah Palin and if that's not the basis for a lasting friendship, what is? Call me!