[DIGRESSION ONE: It was actually 3 days ago, so I guess it wasn't a "couple" of days ago, but really, can't a "couple" be up to 4? Like if you said "I'm meeting a couple of friends at Hometown Buffet" would that ALWAYS mean EXACTLY 2 friends, or could it mean a loose assemblage of up to 3 or 4? Maybe just 3.]
[DIGRESSION TWO: No, seriously, I really want to know why Upworthy, and Upworthy alone, has a stylebook that calls for Capitalizing The First Word Of Every Title Including The Articles Like A And An And The.]
Like everything else they do, Yahoo fucked it up. Let's cut right to the chase: they said the airport with the best food in America was human stockyard Dallas-Fort Worth.
If you have ever flown on American Airlines, then you know the sinkhole of human misery and pathos that is DFW. Long lines of dead-eyed humans dressed for a slumber party in a Third World dumpster shuffle aimlessly on and off the TRA'AIN from one endless terminal to the other. Luckily, there is a plethora of tasty and nutritious food to satisfy these weary travelers!
Not really. Here's what you get in Terminal C:
I know what you're saying. HOW COULD IT BE BAD IF THERE'S A WENDY'S. Of course you're right. Wendy's is magical. But does a Wendy's and an Au Bon Pain and a Chili's Too make for the Best Airport Food? No.
(Also, WTF, Taco Bell Express? Taco Bell is pretty fucking fast already. I can't imagine how you make it express. I guess you could have a Food Product Gun that shoots a pre-made slurry of Meat Substitute and spray cheese into either a hard or soft edible wrapper, but that's about it.)
Don't come at me with your Grove Natural Snacks. That's yogurt covered raisins in a plastic pouch. The rest is all garbage. I've eaten at the Texas Stadium Skybox Bar & Grill and it tasted like someone put McDonalds into a food dehydrator and then reconstituted it in gasoline.
SFO came in second. Just for comparison's sake, here are your options in SFO Terminal 2:
Andale Mexican Restaurant
Lark Creek Grill
Napa Farms Market
The Plant Cafe
But yeah, I guess Manchu Wok would beat the shit out of grilled steelhead salmon with mashed potatoes, broccoli, and sundried tomato-bacon vinaigrette.