12:10 Enter festival grounds. Idly wonder who or what Night Terrors of 1927 is.
12:12 Oh, they're one of those swooping chorus electro pop bands.
1:43 Stop by the "USPS Janis Joplin Tribute." Now even the fucking mail is sponsoring acts at music festivals.
2:15 Run the Jewels. Hey, a black person! On stage, anyway.
3:05 In case your Mom is with you, "Magician Jon Armstrong" at the "Gastro-Magic" stage. Does Magician Jon Armstrong do food magic or something? Maybe he can make monkfish edible.
4:03 Eat mushrooms.
4:15 Attempt to dig up bottle of Fireball you buried last week. Dig up raccoon skeleton instead.
4:48 Mushrooms beginning to take effect.
4:50 Decide to wear raccoon skull.
6:15 Is Bear Hands real or did Vice make them up? Why are they rotating in space and shooting out plumes of color?
6:28 Ascend to Third Plane of Astral Reality. Disappointingly, no complimentary food on this plane.
6:44 Visit the This Is Fucking Offal food truck, order sheep's gall bladder sliders.
6:56 Vomit up sheep's gall bladder sliders.
7:18 Halfway through Tegan & Sara remember you don't like Tegan & Sara.
7:22 Realize that all 120,000 people here are now heading towards Kanye stage.
8:40 Get to back of Kanye crowd. I can see him!
9:38 Disjointed crying. Escorted out by security.