Ugh. Ugh. "Corona Beach Club"? Fucking FUCK ME. What is this, a park where baseball is played or an episode of "90210: The Dissolute Alcoholic Post-College Years"? "Corona Beach Clubs" are for stadiums in San Diego or Phoenix where no one's pretending to watch the game anyway. We come to AT&T Park to watch the Giants team play the baseball, not sit in some crappy beer company's themed sand-filled seating area and drink their crappy beer.
The #SFGiants have a new Corona Beach Club seating area with sand on the 1st base side. NO BEACH BALLS ALLOWED!— San Francisco Giants (@SFGiantsFans) March 29, 2012
I expect the Corona Beach Club to be especially fun on Tuesday nights in July when it's 56 degrees with 20 mph winds and fog blowing over the walls like smoke from yet another uncontrolled PG&E manhole explosion. WHERE'S YOUR BOARD SHORTS BRAH.
This is San Francisco, motherfucker! Instead of this bullshit, we need something like the "Herbal Remedy Weed Club," featuring a thick forest of prime Kush and a vaporizer and a little stereo that plays the Dead show at Cornell 5-8-77 on constant repeat.
Or how about this:
AT&T Park has a new 'hip' outdoor area in the Virgin America Club Level behind sec 229 & 230 w/ a Widmer Brothers Fan Haus bar! #SFGiants— San Francisco Giants (@SFGiantsFans) March 29, 2012
First of all, anything called "hip" is inevitably whatever the opposite of "hip" is. Secondly, as all Club Level Smokers know, the outdoor area they're talking about was pretty much the last place you could sneak a smoke in the park. Now that will be gone and if you want to smoke a cig between innings, you're gonna have to go all the way out the O'Doul Gate like all the other losers. But hey, at least we'll have a "HIP OUTDOOR AREA." Not like anyone wants to watch, oh, I don't know, a BASEBALL GAME or anything.
Whatever, I'll still be there.
Hey, second blog post of the day! I'm making up for all that time I wasn't posting much.