We. Get. It.
So hipsters are douchey conformists who think they're oh-so-cool but are actually brain-dead pack-followers who have ruined music and bicycling and everything. Whatever.
You'd think that would be the end of it there. But no. No, it's much worse, we come to learn.
"[T]he hipster represents the end of Western civilization."
This little dollop of overheated trope comes courtesy of an over-the-top article in Adbusters called Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization that I can't figure out if it's satirical or not. It's like "Reefer Madness" for Hipsters. Behold:
Lovers of apathy and irony, hipsters are connected through a global network of blogs and shops that push forth a global vision of fashion-informed aesthetics. Loosely associated with some form of creative output, they attend art parties, take lo-fi pictures with analog cameras, ride their bikes to night clubs and sweat it up at nouveau disco-coke parties. The hipster tends to religiously blog about their daily exploits, usually while leafing through generation-defining magazines like Vice, Another Magazine and Wallpaper. This cursory and stylized lifestyle has made the hipster almost universally loathed.
Not only that! They also cook and eat babies!!!! RUN IN TERROR FROM THE HIPSTER!!!
Look, if it's anything, "hipster" is a convenient catch-all term to describe people who either (1) dress differently than you, or (2) you don't like. Saying that hipsters are the death of Western Civilization is like saying that irony is the death of the English language. I don't know what's going on over there at Adbusters, but people need to fucking chill out and get some perspective.
Sigh. Happy Friday, everyone! Hope you have some big plans for the weekend. Me? I'm just going to my usual nouveau disco-coke party.
[DISCLAIMER: If, in fact, this article was meant to be satirical, my deep apologies and boy do I look stupid.]
[DISCLAIMER TWO: This article was originally published in July 2008. But same diff.]