There was no way I was going to go to the Outside Lands festival anyway, after hearing the horror stories from last year about the crowds and hour-long waits for beers and not being able to see anything. It sounded like a nightmare clusterfuck and I wouldn't have any part in it.
Then they announced this year's lineup, and it was so laughably bad that I thought "There's no way they could fuck this up any worse." The headliners were Pearl Jam, the Dave Matthews Band, and the Beastie Boys. Like, what the fuck is this, 1995?
(DISCLAIMER - Admittedly, some of the other acts on the bill I wouldn't mind seeing, like TV on the Radio, Deerhunter, M.I.A., and Calexico, but I'd much rather see all of them in a club or small venue somewhere.)
Oh, and you know who else is on the bill on Saturday, the night that fucking DMB is headlining? The BLACK EYED PEAS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK AT MUSIC OUTSIDE LANDS.
Anyway, then Adam Yauch from the Beastie Boys caught the cancer and they had to back out and so Outside Lands had to go find another headliner. Here's a chance to really score a great band and make the festival worth seeing, right?
Wrong. They booked Tenacious D.
Say what you will about Tenacious D's joke-rock. It's fine for what it is. What it ISN'T is something that's going to make people go "Oh wow, I totally have to go to Outside Lands now! Tenacious D! That's a festival headliner, for sure!"
I realize that summer's almost over and most artists are already booked and it's a last-minute thing, but c'mon.