We have a large tree in our backyard, and it appears that it has now become the morning hang of some kind of bird. I'm not sure what kind of bird exactly except it sounds like the LOUDEST MOST DEFECTIVE SMOKE DETECTOR IN HISTORY and its preferred time to GO FUCKING NUTS is about 5:30 a.m.
|Here's the tree. NOT PICTURED: Smoke Detector Bird|
One morning last week I finally lost it and decided to take some action, so at 5:45 a.m. I got up and found half a lemon in the fridge. I opened the back door (we're on the second floor so we're level with the tree) and fucking CHUCKED THAT THING at the tree. Voila, the sound of BEEPing receding into the distance.
It's back again. This morning, right on schedule at 5:30. Fucking bird. I don't have an infinite supply of lemons so I don't know what the fuck. I think we might have to move.
ONE OTHER THING. Another year of SF Weekly's Best of San Francisco awards, another year I didn't win Best Blog. Um, congratulations, Bold Italic.