Monday, February 3, 2014

This $10,500 rental in the Mission is absurd

Via Matt Graves (RT courtesy BurritoJustice) comes this truly unbelievable rental listing.  Since it's on Craigslist, and listings on Craigslist, like dandelion spores or red supergiants, are impermanent and ephemeral, I've screencapped part of it below:



WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HERE IS A 2-BEDROOM IN THE MISSION FOR TEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

We all knew rents were out of control.  But this.  I can't even.  So many problems here.

FIRST, if you have $10,500 a month to spend on housing, why the fuck would you give it to someone else? $10,000 is roughly the mortgage payment on a $2,000,000 mortgage. Buy a $1,000,000 place and cut your monthly housing nut in half!  Use the rest to buy $4 toast!  Fuck, buy $8 or $10 toast and you're STILL coming out ahead!

SECOND, that ad.  Oh my God that ad.  "With the hottest microclimate in San Francisco, Mission is caliente."  Are you fucking kidding me.  Are you intentionally making fun of the Mission's Latino heritage, or was that just a happy accident?  For the love of God, fellow white people, do not call things "caliente."  This is one step removed from putting on a giant sombrero and poncho and going to a Cinco de Mayo party.

THIRD, if you MUST rent, here's a 3-bedroom penthouse on Russian Hill with parking for $10K.  You save $500!  And it's SO MUCH BETTER than the Mission place.  Plus, you won't look like a total asshole walking out of that new building on 19th and Valencia.  On Russian Hill, everybody's rich!  No one will care that you're a rich too!

In conclusion, please do not rent this unit.

4 comments:

Stephen said...

A block away, on a quieter street, remodeled, looks about the same size though without parking, but with a yard, for 60% less:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/4315458698.html

I don't think you can just charge whatever you want when there are comparables on the market, but who knows? Maybe some Russian oligarch's child is dying to live above The Balm.

TK said...

That place is so much better, too.

Also, "The Balm," ugh.

Tamagosan said...

At first I read the screencap to read 12kft squared. OK, so if you get 10 folks, together, it's "affordable", right? Then I saw it was 1288. (Man, that last 8 feet is the best part!) Now I decided it was a joke because that's the only way I'm not sick right now.

Unknown said...

Also, what is that ottoman orgy monstrosity in the living room??