I just have to pause here for a moment and talk about how much I fucking love the carazy-ass disappearing Governor of South Carolina story. He's out of the office! He's at the beach house! He's hiking the fucking Appalachian Trail! No wait, he's in Argentina banging his "dear, dear friend"!!! Awesome!
You know why this story is so great? Because there are only two possible explanations for why the governor of a state (not a really great state, take my work for it, but a state just that same) would act in such a bizarre and incomprehensible manner: (1) he's on drugs, or (2) he's totally batshit crazy. Now, I tend to believe it's the latter, since you kind of already have to be half-insane to get into politics in the first place.
But seriously, how could you think, as the governor of a state, you could just drop off the face of the Earth for a week to get some strange and no one would fucking notice? Maybe if you're homeless or J. D. Salinger or something, but when you're the governor of a state (even a state like South Carolina - kidding, S.C.!) you kind of have to expect that someone might wonder just where the fuck you are after about a day and a half.
SIDE NOTE: Yeah, it's gay marriage that everyone should be worried about. Is there any politician out there who can NOT cheat?