My favorite tweets of 2015

Yes, it's back, for the third consecutive and fourth nonconsecutive time, TK's 2015 Tweets of the Year.  Everybody was very funny this year.  Good job, good effort.

[at club] DO YOU WANT TO DO A HUMAN SACRIFICE "WHAT?" [does stabbing and offering motion] A SACRIFICE, DO YOU WANT TO DO ONE

— YUNG SPIDER GOD (@buttgh0st) January 16, 2015

pic.twitter.com/iLQIEJAdj4

— Ramona (@ramonarae) January 20, 2015

I love that this whole thing is now thousands of people watching a live stream of a guy walk his llama down the street.

— BFF.fm (@BFFdotFM) February 26, 2015

Remember the llamas? I do, like it was yesterday, man. That was good times.

[séance] PSYCHIC: Your father's spirit is with us now GUY: "Dad!!! I'm so happy!!!" (ethereal voice) H I S O H A P P Y , I ' M D A D

— jackson (@tricycle_champ) March 5, 2015

SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing— DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND: fuck him up socrates

— leon (@leyawn) April 8, 2015

*someone starts having a heart attack* person: is anyone here a doctor?? vegan: im a vegan

— george w kush (@yungshoelace) April 20, 2015

remember when sf was known as a mecca of music and art well that was fun but now we make soylent and shit here’s a lanyard for some reason

— j. w. friedman (@satellitehigh) April 23, 2015

I think "here's a lanyard for some reason" is the killer. It's almost poignant.

how many babies did you send to space, bush. you fucker. how many babies are still up there pic.twitter.com/sdr80EuOQl

— BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) April 27, 2015

Live around here? No, my kid goes to school here. Oh. (grimace) I'm looking for a nice liquor sto TWO BLOCKS DOWN ON THE LEFT

— miche (@michesf) May 15, 2015

pic.twitter.com/wea59X0CTk

— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) May 26, 2015

MAKES U THINK

yesterday when i was riding my bike to work, i saw a woman with a bumpersticker on her car that said I ❤️ MAKEUP and it’s still bugging me.

— jenny_klug (@jenny_klug) June 5, 2015

*firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) June 7, 2015

I thought this was the Pope's playlist: https://t.co/cvVCAA49AL

— Laura Dolan (@verity6) June 17, 2015

I did too! At least, at first.

pic.twitter.com/B4O5P10M10

— Frances Lefkowitz (@YesFrances) July 14, 2015

How does this only have 29 likes? Maybe it was passed around on another account and got 7 million likes? It should have 7 million likes.

It's a real comment I'm cry pic.twitter.com/BmBs8VUFDn

— Cathy (@catherinebouris) August 5, 2015

I actually went and found the real comment. It's real, or at least appears to be. Amazing.

can this kid be our new president https://t.co/2Jp8e5RDTg

— Lana Berry (@Lana) August 22, 2015

Googling "Can you keep a [weird, possibly dangerous animal that should never be kept as a pet] as a pet?" takes up about half my day.

— Je$sica Benner (@jessicabenner) September 4, 2015

[backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this? [next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?

— brent (@murrman5) September 15, 2015

I LOL every time I think about this tweet, to this day.

"Too soon" -this lady about Pompeii pic.twitter.com/V3TcskR2ng

— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) October 2, 2015

Reading peta's @ replies is my new favorite activity pic.twitter.com/Pfe4FxhQFv

— lindsey (@Lindzeta) October 20, 2015

Benghazi hearings reaching the point where they usually let a position player pitch

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) October 23, 2015

My life has been considerably better since discovering @desusnice's Twitter.

@BenedictEvans that's not what I said

— mat! (@mat) December 22, 2015

What the kids call "pwned."

And just in under the wire, one late but worthy entry:

It's now 2016 here in Hong Kong and not to spoil the future for you, but a portal just opened and OH GOD GIANT ALIEN SPIDERS ARE EVERYWH

— Miss O'Kistic (@missokistic) December 31, 2015

Happy New Year, everyone!