I guess it's some promotional event for Jansport, the company that makes the ubiquitous cheap disposable backpacks that emo girls put buttons all over. Whatever, sounds like fun, right? I like the Dodos! (BTW, if you're not familiar, check them out, they're great.) And, as the accompanying email made clear, FREE BEER! And Treasure Island! I'm sold! Sign me up!
The way this worked was, you have to personally RSVP and then they send you a confirmation email. So Stoney and I sign up and we get out emails and we're all set.
We are advised that the doors open at 5:30. We arrive around 5:45 and there is a line at least several hundred people long. I can immediately see what the problem is: it appears there is one person checking the list and IDs and whatnot. Hey, no biggie, we can wait. The line seems to be moving.
Until we get close. When we are maybe 50 people from the entrance, the line stops. Now, this is an outdoor thing and so we can fully hear the bands and see all the Lucky Admittees strolling around with their free beers and so what the fuck. Finally, we hear through the grapevine that they have reached capacity and they're not letting anyone else in.
WHAT THE FUCK.
So you're telling me that I RSVP'd and you sent me back an email saying come on over and I got there 15 minutes after the doors opened and I can see with my own fucking eyes that it's not crowded inside and after waiting an hour I can't get in?
WELL FUCK YOU JANSPORT.
Hey, I understand that there is a limited capacity, but knowing that, why did you send out confirmation emails to people and lead them to believe they could get in? I can understand overbooking by maybe 50 or 60, but when we gave up and left, there were several hundred people still in line. NOT FUCKING COOL.
Now, Jansport, I'm not going to tell you how to run your promotional events, but here are some suggestions that might help out next time:
1. If you're going to have a whole rigamarole for RSVP'ing and sending out email confirmations, that should mean something. Like, if the capacity is 1,000, don't send out 2,000 confirmations. In this case, the confirmations meant exactly nothing. You might as well have just admitted the first 1,000 people to show up and dispensed with the fucking email confirmations.
2. If you decided that you've reached some arbitrary capacity and you're not letting anyone else is, hey how about an announcement? Why don't you have some dork with a bullhorn go "We have reached capacity and we're not letting anyone else in"? That would have saved some time.
3. Seriously, go fuck yourself.
So everyone, let's do what little we can do and NEVER PURCHASE ANOTHER JANSPORT PRODUCT AGAIN. Not like you were going to anyway, but don't.
I was in the first group cut off when they reached "capacity." What actually happened was someone didn't give the 30k/yr brand managers they had manning the entrance enough wristbands to accommodate the line. Plus, nobody had walkie talkies so they couldn't get in touch with their bosses to figure out what to do.
ReplyDeleteWe were let in after people started jumping over the fence- they marked our hands instead of wristbands. I don't think that lasted long, though. The JanSport chick immediately began yelling at the security dude that he was moving the line too fast for her.
I felt really bad for that security dude, actually. He wasn't given any information about what was going on. Saw him get approached and yelled at over and over again while the JanSport mooks hid behind him.
Anyway, enjoy all of our email addresses for your marketing campaigns, JanSport.
Jansport backpacks are only disposable if you want them to be. They just replaced a broken zipper on mine for free, and it looks like they stitched up some fraying edges on the inside of the bag at the smae time. It's probably good for another 15 years now.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for the record, I'm not a Jansport marketing flack.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was getting there at 5:45 (as well), waiting in line for an hour, watching the girl in front of me hop the gate, get approached by a "rent a cop" (if you can even call him that) watch her say "I have been waiting for an hour" and have him let her go on her merry way. THEN coincidentally when hella people bum rushed the gate and said "FUCK IT" he tells the crowd "we were going to let you all in anyways". BULLSHIT! I am calling shenanigans!
ReplyDeleteI will say it was fucking torture watching everyone eating those goddamn free burgers and enjoying all the beer their hearts desired. and watching all those people from the bus with their fancy white wristbands just stroll up and make my wait that much longer. NEVER AGAIN...
[end rant]
My favorite part was also getting there at 5:45,watching the girl in front of me hop the gate, get approached by a "rent a cop", watch her say "I have been waiting for an hour" and have him let her go on her merry way. :)
ReplyDeletePromotional backpacks