Monday, May 18, 2009

British people: Are they the greatest threat to our way of life?

Yesterday morning some of Lyndon LaRouche's nutty supporters were outside the BART station handing out some literature and I took some, thinking it would be good for a laugh. Boy, was I ever right.

Lyndon doesn't like British people very much:

You look at these Brits, they're fat, sloppy and dumb. Their dietary habits stink, their conditions of life stink, their opinions stink, in general. . . . the Brits are an imperial system and they're a parasitic nation, essentially. They suck the blood out of the rest of the world. Dracula was a story written by a Brit, remember. That's not coincidental.


(Make finger-twirling-next-to-head motion here)

He also doesn't like people who Twitter. Or maybe there's some group called "Twitters" that I don't know about that he doesn't like:

Now, what you're looking at here, in the United States today, is a phenomenon typified by the Twitters. Now the Twitters are very seriously an operation of evil.


MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! NO ONE SHALL KNOW OF OUR SECRET EVIL PLANS, FELLOW TWITTERS!! But wait, there's more!

This system is not going to last. What Obama represents today will not last. It's doomed, in any case. The question is, what do you get in its place. And the Twitters are the answer. The Twitters are devotedly brainless creatures. Twitter, twitter, tweet, tweet, tweet.


Hey! I resent that! I'm not a....wait, what was I talking about?

In other news, I saw the Doves last night at the Fillmore. The Doves, as you may or may not know, are from Manchester, and their home city was amply represented in the sold-out crowd, most notably by the three chaps in front of us who fist-pumped and yelled "MAHNCHESTAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" between every song, then grabbed each other and hugged and kissed. But in a football hooligan way.

There was also the drunk girl who was being held up by 2 of her friends and who finally got escorted out by the bouncers. But I don't think she was British, just drunk.

Anyway, fun show. Except it was too crowded. I don't like crowds any more.

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