Anchor Drone (chuckling): Thanks for the report, Kenny. It's nice to know not every police beating has to be a sad story. Now let's talk to meteorologist Skip Hapless at Weather Center 10000 who's tracking a fast-moving storm heading for our area!
Skip Hapless: HAVE YOU MADE YOUR PEACE WITH GOD?
Anchor Drone: What's that, Skip?
Skip Hapless: ARE YOU PURIFIED? ARE YOU READY TO STAND BEFORE THE LORD? HAVE YOU CLEANED YOUR GUTTERS?
Anchor Drone: What does the storm look like, Skip?
Skip Hapless: It will make Armageddon look like a free cone at Coldstone Creamery. Lashing sheets of rain will pelt and destroy wildlife. Your loved ones will cling to trees and pray for death. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR WEATHER EVENT.
Anchor Drone: How much rain can we expect, Skip?
Skip Hapless; IF ONLY NUMBERS WENT THAT HIGH. POURING, GUSHING RAIN. MORE WATER THAN YOU COULD IMAGINE. ALL IS LOST.
Anchor Drone: Sounds like this might affect the morning commute!
Skip Hapless: WHAT COMMUTE. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND. COMMUTE TO HELL. WE WILL ALL BE COMMUTING TO HELL ON A ROADWAY OF LIQUID DEATH.
Anchor Drone: That was Skip Hapless with the weather.
I just had a coworker tell me today that he is planning on working from home on Thursday. Uh, because it will be *raining*? Really?
ReplyDeleteWe will rebuild.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm flying the Alaska Airlines Seattle/SF/Palm Springs flight on its way back home tomorrow evening on the Palm Springs-SF leg, and not only will the flight be hours late, but WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
ReplyDeleteAnd now they're closing SF schools for Thursday? I don't know if I'm afraid to wake up tomorrow, or if I should be rolling my eyes (and buying a rain poncho).
ReplyDeleteI'm considering working from home tomorrow because I commute between SF and Novato. There were a few flooded 101 on ramps last week, as well as a good number of people who do not understand that you need to slow down in inclement weather. I enjoy being alive.
ReplyDelete