10 Things I Hate About You: Sesame Street Edition

10 Things I Hate About You

Sesame Street Edition 

by Cookie Monster

Inspired by

1. Public Transportation 

 Why it take so long to get cookie? Because Sesame Street bus fucking suck, that why! If you think Sesame Street bus good, you probably eat vegan cookie! Blech!

 2. Dirty street 

 No street cleaning ever! Snuffleupagus dropping pile up for YEARS. Unions!

3. Cost of Living

Oscar still live in trash can! Can't afford to move. Cookie Monster hear that Dora the Explorer got 4th floor walkup for under 500K. Why Sesame Street so fucking expensive? Unions!

4. Nightlife (or lack thereof)

How come Sesame Street shut down at 10?  Me and Elmo always looking for late night dining options! Other than strip club buffet! This town suck.

5. The Count

Fucking Count always hassle Cookie Monster!  "1...2....3...."  We get it!  You know how count!  Fucking enough already!

6. Homeless People

They everywhere.  What you think they do with money you give them?  They buy booze!  Just give Grover bottle of Royal Gate, he be happier!  Grover spend all money on hooch!

7. 49ers

Abby Cadabby think she a 9 but she really a 4!  Why she think she have right to speak to Cookie Monster!

8. Start Up Guys

Bert and Ernie always talk about new app!  Even when ladies around!  No one care about Muppetgrindr, Bert and Ernie!

9. Crime

Every time Big Bird get popped, he back on street hours later! Revolving door justice system keep Sesame Street dangerous!  Use to be nice neighborhood.

10. Jason Mraz

Ugh. Why Cookie Monster subjected to this?