Friday, May 17, 2013

Most popular boys' baby names by state reveals cultural trends, also that Florida continues to amuse

Just when you thought the government was so mired in scandal they couldn't do anything right, the Social Security Administration went and released the list of the Most Popular Baby Names for last year. THANKS A LOT, OBAMA.

(Note that this only includes babies who obtained Social Security numbers, so those weirdos who live off the grid and stockpile Franks N Beans in their garages won't be included but they all probably have names like Apocalypto and Jehezerith anyway so who cares.)

I went ahead and made a little map of the boys names because they were more interesting.  Check out the regional variations!

I don't know if you can read the tiny little caption or not, but I'll go through it mostly.

WILLIAM is popular in the South and a couple of Western states.  It's popular in the South because it sounds old-fashioned without being weird.  Will is the kind of guy who likes college football and cigars, so it goes with the South.

Your Mountain West states (plus Nebraska and Oregon) went for LIAM.  Liam's not bad, I guess, although I will always associate it with the guy from Oasis and so I always expect Liam to be a drunk asshole.

MASON was popular in your Great Lakes area, the Maine-Vermont part, whatever that's called, a couple of Midwest states, and, unaccountably, Louisiana.  I can't think of what Louisiana and Maine might have in common except tourists go there to eat shellfish?  That doesn't explain Mason.

MICHAEL was big in New York, New Jersey, and Delaware.  Obviously because of Michael Bloomberg. 

In Florida, and only Florida, the most popular boy's name was JAYDEN.  Of course.

5 comments:

  1. I made sure my kids' names didn't come close to being on the list. I think my son's name may have hit the top 100 back in 1897 or so, but who pays attention to 1897?
    I also made sure my kids' names didn't rhyme with anything dirty (like Bart/Fart or "All the way Mae") but neglected to determine if there was anything allerative that could be connected to their names (like "Busty Betty" or "Chunky Charlie").

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  2. Jayden came in second in California, though. Not surprising. I hear the name Jayden a lot at the playground these days.

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  3. I often make a joke that if I have kids I'm going to give them really weird names...like John or Mike. Guess I need to rethink that as those names haven't exactly gone out of popularity. At least judging by "William".

    Maine does share vestiges of Acadian culture with Louisiana. Though I doubt that explains the sharing of "Mason". Would also like to know how many Louisianans who named their kid Mason have the last name Dixon. More than I'd like, I'm sure.

    Jayden is an abomination of a name. Will never not hate it.

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  4. At this very moment, I'm sitting at the commencement ceremony of Georgetown University's School of Foreign Service. It is very long, tons of names (they read the middle names, too!) and let's jut say that there is no Jayden.

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  5. I think I'll name my first born Elvis, even if it's a boy.

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