The Bachelor: The Women Tell Next to Nothing, Bore the Shit Out of Us

Everyone agrees, including myself, that Ken Burns' "The Civil War" is a masterpiece of modern documentary filmmaking.  I think I have watched the entire series all the way through twice, which takes only slightly less time than the actual Civil War.  I was excited about watching it again with The Wife, who had never seen it, because she is from Another Country where they have their own shit going down.  So one night we sat down and I hit play and BOOM she was out cold in less than five minutes.  A few years later Ken Burns' series "The National Parks" came on and we began watching that and BOOM she's out again.  Ken Burns has a particularly soporific effect on The Wife.

So it was for me with last night's "The Women Tell All, " the usual filler that airs every season just before the finale.  Its origin and purpose remain murky, as it seems to exist only to take up space.  Maybe editing the finale takes a long time?  Anyway, last night I fell asleep at two different times while trying to watch this televised Sominex, so my notes are somewhat unclear.

I seem to remember Tierra getting trotted out at some point, yelled at, and then returned to her seat.  Was there something about Sean and Chris Harrison dropping in on people watching the show?  Did that happen?  I think Desiree blamed her brother.  AshLee thinks Sean told her that he didn't care about any other girls, but he says he didn't say that.  Nobody cares.

The only possibly interesting thing that happened to me was that at around 7 pm, there was a sudden spike in traffic to this blog.

What the fuck?  I did some checking and found out that a not-insubstantial number of people were arriving here after Googling various combinations of "magic", "dog", and "Bachelor", which was leading them to this post with "Magic" and "Bachelor" in the title and the word "dog" in the post.  Well, as I found out at 10 pm Pacific time, the show concluded with a moving video tribute to Magic the dog, who apparently hung around the set until he or she died of boredom at some point this season.  To better days, Magic.

NEXT WEEK: Finally this godawful season comes to an end.  They've been teasing lots of shots of Sean at the Proposal Lectern reading some kind of letter and then staring meaningfully into middle distance.  This is GUARANTEED to be disappointing when we actually find out what it is.