World Series Game 5: FUCK YEAH

I think Eric Karros is still picking the Rangers to win it all.

Hey, guess what? THE GIANTS WON THE WORLD SERIES. I know, right? Before the season started, Olu and I were talking and we were all "Maybe if they just made the playoffs, yeah, that would be cool," without even imagining that they would win the playoffs. Remember how shitty August was? Losing to Cincinnati 12-11 and then losing to Arizona 6-0 and then losing to Arizona 11-3? Sure, they won the next day, but that still sucked.

Every step of the way, no one gave them a shot. It's like a movie and the Giants are the Retarded Kid or the Team of Plucky Underdogs or the Last Man on Earth! But really, if I had to hear Eric Karros or Mitch Williams or some other shitbag say the other team was going to win one more time, I would shoot myself in the face and not seek immediate medical attention. It really was almost comical. ALMOST.

So you already know what happened. Lincecum fucking mowed through the Texas lineup except for one HR and fuck it, that ain't no thang when you got Edgar Renteria hitting HRs like he's 25 again. Seriously, Edgar Renteria? Ten bucks says half the people watching the Series didn't know he was still on the team. Edgar had his own game: lay low for the entire regular season, let the other teams get confident, THEN bust out in the World Series. Whatever, it worked!

Speaking of that Renteria HR, did you even think it was going out? That fucking Texas ballpark, I can never tell. Guys hit these lazy fly balls and they just keep going and going and then they're home runs.

- Here's a Giants fan for you: postgame, one of my comrades said "I really was hoping for a shutout."

- And I was a little disappointed that Brian Wilson didn't put 2 on and have a man at 3rd with 2 outs. That would have just been fitting. He gives me fucking heart attacks all season, then fucking makes it look easy in the playoffs? What kind of shit is that?

- Best thing I heard all night: apparently, the Giants fans in Texas who stayed in the stands after the game were chanting "BEAT L.A.! BEAT L.A.!" How fucking cool is that?

- So we walked down to 22nd and Valencia and got some beers from the Latin and stood on the sidewalk and high-fived everyone who walked by. Strolled down to 22nd and Mission for the Ritual Burning of the Mattresses. I was thinking, where do these mattresses come from? Is there a Mattress Guy who keeps them on hand for easy distribution any time a sports team wins a title or a white cop is acquitted of something? Where do the mattresses come from? Some people were calling it a "riot," but Detroit is all BITCH PLEASE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A RIOT IS.

- Of course, the Giants have a legacy of outstanding pitching.


Christy Mathewson's Giants won the 1905 World Series over the Philadelphia Athletics. Mathewson was the starting pitcher in Game 1, and pitched a 4-hit shutout for the victory. Three days later, with the series tied 1–1, he pitched another 4-hit shutout. Then, two days later in Game 5, he threw a 6-hit shutout to clinch the series for the Giants. In a span of only six days, Mathewson had pitched three complete games without allowing a run.

Christy Mathewson says: "3 complete games in 6 days. You guys are pussies."

Before we go, I want to give a shout-out to some folks I think of when I think Giants:

- Of course, The Wife, who knows how to keep score, can discuss the pros and cons of Santiago Casilla intelligently, and is basically the best person to sit next to on a sunny Saturday at AT&T Park.

- Olu and Jason know where to buy shots of Jameson in the park. And outside the park.

- Stephen took me to one of the Red Sox games, which sucked but I don't hold it against him but I am glad the Red Sox weren't even in the playoffs.

- Stoney apologized for the loss in Game 3. He forgot his dog's Giants collar. Collar back in place, the Giants went on to win the rest of the Series.

- Kate, Generic, The Tens, Allan, Tamagosan, JohnnyO, Brock, and all my other go-to online sources. McCovey Chronicles, duh. And anyone else I forgot, SORRY. I'm still a little drunk.

- Is it too early to start worrying about that Dodger game on April 1, 2011?

- Pitchers and catchers report in 107 days!!!!!