These are the actual words I said upon leaving the theater after seeing "New Moon"

"Well, that wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen."

And it wasn't. But man, oh, man, was it ever BORING. The visuals were nice and there was some pretty scenery, but watching Kristen Stewart mope around the Pacific Northwest for 2 hours isn't anyone's idea of fun. Why would a good-looking, powerful vampire and a totally ripped werewolf with a protruding brow both be obessed with a chick whose only facial expression is that same look I get when they say we're out of wine and it's past 2 am? I don't get it. But if you're a parent worried about what your kids are watching, this movie is a concern-free zone. There are racier Family Circus panels.

That made me think - what is the worst movie I ever saw? That's a tough one, because I usually stop watching something as soon as I know it's bad. I yanked the headphones out of the seat about 20 minutes into "Four Christmases" on a plane, and I've walked out of movies before, but it's been a while.

No, the worst movie I can recall seeing in the past, say, 20 years, is the remake of "The Stepford Wives," with Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick and a bunch of other people who wish they weren't there. What a boring, pointless, relentlessly unfunny piece of shit. I actually watched this until the end because I couldn't believe how bad it was.

(Looking at the Rotten Tomatoes page for the movie (linked above), I note that the reviewer from "Christianity Today" thought it was "actually fairly funny," which is just sad and what it says about Christians I don't know.)

We're going to see "Fantastic Mr. Fox" today. We've got nowhere to go but up.