Why aren't you panicking? You should panic.

There's something about the Zodiac Killer what seems to bring out the batshit in people. I mean, did you really think for a second that that crazy chick who had a press conference to announce that her Dad was the Zodiac killer was on the up and up? Der, how about no fucking way.

The Zodiac is The Sister's favorite serial killer, but I haven't heard from her about any of this. Trust me, if there was anything to it, she'd be on it like fleas on a dog. Super Hot Irish Girlfriend reports that the Zodiac is now her favorite serial killer, too, but it used to be Ted Bundy. I don't know why she broke up with Ted. Mine's Jack the Ripper because I'm old skool like that.

UPDATE!!!!! SHIG explains why she switched:

I switched from Ted because there's no mystery ya know? I need a little more excitement with my serial killers. Ted was young and hot and played by Mark Harmon in the Lifetime movies. Plus he was smart. We had some good times, but the local angle with the Zodiac and Jake Gyllenhall and the mystery and all is what made me switch.

Happy Friday, everyone!

I was resolute about not saying anything else about this Swine Flu bullshit but I can no longer sit idly by while the first 10 minutes of Mornings on 2 every day is full of YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE and OMG OMG SAVE US and all that crap. Listen up, people. The latest info is that maybe 13 people have died so far. THIRTEEN PEOPLE. That's like the number of people who die every day from inhaling buttons they're trying to chew off their shirts. And you're wearing a fucking surgical mask? Take that shit off, you look ridiculous.

Well, at least we know who to blame. Obviously, it's the Mexicans.

I'm getting pork chow fun for lunch today and LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF DEATH.