After a fairly long respite, you know who was back last night? The fucking recycling poachers, that's who. You know how I know? Because these assholes woke me up at 11:30 last night going through my recycling out front and dropping bottles and shit. These weren't the neighborhood-homeless-guy-with-shopping-cart poachers. These were the organized-group-with-truck poachers. That pisses me off even more, for some reason.
Now, I admit that our recycling can is pretty much a cornucopia of delights for your average recycling poacher, given the number of bottles of wine (and beers, too, I guess) that Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and our associates plow through in an average week. But fuck you for waking me up, and for stealing that shit. SF is looking at a $575 million deficit, and you're not helping.
Now, I admit that our recycling can is pretty much a cornucopia of delights for your average recycling poacher, given the number of bottles of wine (and beers, too, I guess) that Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and our associates plow through in an average week. But fuck you for waking me up, and for stealing that shit. SF is looking at a $575 million deficit, and you're not helping.
So here's what I've come up with. I call it DeathCan!!!
What do you think? That should keep 'em out of there, right?
That really makes me mad too. It's one thing if some guy toddles by with his shopping cart and takes the bottles, but last week I watched ours get stolen by a guy with a pickup truck too. WTF? It's like stealing from the city AND the homeless.
ReplyDeletePS: Can we have more homegrown graphics on this blog in the future?
This is a fabulous idea. I wish I had control over my neighbors cans. I had the smashing-bottles-into-a-pickup alarm go off last night (at 2:30 am) and I am seriously considering investing in a bullhorn and/or "Adam's Block" type webcam.
ReplyDeleteUnfortch, with the economy, I fear the recycling poachers will only grow in number.
I propose we make a deal with them. NO STEALING RECYCLING AFTER 10:00pm. STEAL DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS ONLY!
I have no idea how we could organize this, so I'll leave that to some Mission hipsters who don't have a cause for the day. Ready, kids...GO!
A) I love the visual!!
ReplyDeleteB) I think Death Can might work. BUT, are the poachers wearing gloves? It might not work if they are.