He also bears the number of the beast

Recently listening to right-wing radio, as is my wont, I was informed by a typically frothing-at-the-mouth host that "Barack Obama has cosponsored a bill to REQUIRE THAT ALL U.S. CITIZENS BE FINGERPRINTED!!!" This tidbit was used to illustrate Obama's yearn for governmental control of our daily lives and/or the fact that he is the Antichrist.

Naturally, my curiosity was piqued, so I conducted some investigative journalism to bring you guys - my tens of readers - the truth.

Turns out that Obama did indeed cosponsor a fingerprinting bill, the Secure and Fair Enforcement in Mortgage Licensing (SAFE) act. Noted big-government enthusiast Sen. Mel Martinez of Florida, a Republican, introduced the legislation, which would "establish national professional licensing standards for mortgage brokers and lenders."

As explained on Mel's website:

Following is a summary of the SAFE Mortgage Licensing Act:

• Would require that all residential mortgage loan brokers and lenders obtain a state license, and provide fingerprints, a summary of work experience, and consent for a background check to authorities.

• To obtain licensing an individual must, at minimum:
o Have no felony convictions;
o Have no similar license revoked;
o Demonstrate a record of financial responsibility;
o Fulfill education requirements (20 hours of approved courses, to include at least 3 hours related to federal laws, 4 hours on ethics and consumer protection in mortgage lending, and 2 hours on the sub-prime mortgage marketplace); and
o Pass a written exam (the exam must be at least 100 questions; minimum
score of 75% required to pass).

Wait, what? It doesn't require the fingerprinting of all Americans? Just the kind of routine fingerprinting that's normally required for a background check, and then only for mortgage loan brokers and lenders? Well, that's not a very interesting story at all.

Expect to see a lot more of this bullshit. Especially since, as we know, Obama is a Muslim who was sworn in on the Koran, won't put his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance, and occasionally kills and eats adorable puppies.

OK, OK, that's not all true. He does put his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance.

For a very informative guide to the endless series of smears circulating against Obama, check Snopes, as usual.

One final thought - why aren't there a bunch of outrageous rumors circulating about Crazy Eyes McCain? Perhaps Dems don't go out of their way to smear the opposition? Nah, couldn't be that.