Some things are just as bad as you were told. Like professional wrestling, or the Bubble Lounge

Difficult as this must be to believe, I actually found myself in the famous-for-its-douchebag-quotient Bubble Lounge on Saturday night, for a friend's girlfriend's birthday thing. It's maybe not as bad as I thought it would be, crowdwise, but I wasn't there that long.

2 or 3 significant problems, though:

1. It's fucking expensive. The Sister wanted a glass of champagne and I asked the very affable bartender about it and he made a suggestion and then gave me a sample! Nice, right? So I asked him how much it is per glass and he said "$18" and I said "Show me something more in the $10 range" and he said "We have an entry-level prosecco for $11" and I said The Sister would like entry level just fine.

2. There was nowhere to sit. All the seats at the bar were taken and you can't sit at any of the tables unless you guarantee $30 a head for everyone in your party. Oh, fuck you.

3. I don't know what they have going on downstairs but it looked like a prom. Obvs it wasn't a prom, but it was a bunch of very young-looking overdressed chicks. Wait, that sounds pretty good. I'm not describing it right or something.

So we vacated that place and walked down the street to The Kells, another place I would normally never go (Yelp sample: This is a great place if you want to drink Budlights out of insulated aluminum bottles, meet some 19 year olds from Sacramento and dance to Montell Jordan) but we saw a few open tables in the front and more than anything we just wanted to sit down. Boy oh boy is that place full of assholes (General rule: If you're wearing a visor backwards and upside down, you're probably an asshole. Fuck, if you're wearing a visor, period, you're probably an asshole) but we had a place to sit and it was fine becuse we pretty much stayed out of the fray, as it were.

I don't know what's going on down on the lower end of Columbus these days, but it looked like prom at The Kells too. Where are all these 19-year-old girls coming from? And how did they all get fake ID's?

Now I know why I never went to either of those places even when I lived in North Beach. The End.

Oh, P.S. Signs You're Getting Old: Our plans for this Friday night include renting a Rug Doctor. SLOW YOUR ROLL, COMMANDER PARTY!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!