Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Porn at work: No.

I was going to do this Big Important Issue Post about immigration and even had most of it written but fuck that everybody and their mother writes about that crap and I don't need a bunch of teabaggers calling me stupid in the comments. I KNOW THAT ALREADY, NOW GO MAKE ANOTHER OBAMA HITLER SIGN.

No, instead let's talk about WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PEOPLE LOOKING AT PORN AT WORK? I mean, really, what the fucking fuck? I have absolutely no problem with porn at all and can think of no higher use for the Internet but GODDAM IT if I'm going to sit in my office at 11:30 a.m. on a Monday checking out Asian Gangbang Sluts or something.

Shit, there goes my search referrer logs. MOVE ON, BORED OFFICE WORKER. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

Just today! We learn that the an SF zoning administrator was sending around emails to coworkers with porn in them. THAT IS SO FUCKED UP. I don't even want to imagine any of my coworkers having any interest in sex (well, maybe one, but that's neither here nor there), much less get pornomail from them. FUCKING GROSS.

Then there were the SEC guys working the pr0n 8 hours a day:

One senior attorney at SEC headquarters in Washington spent up to eight hours a day accessing Internet porn, according to the report, which has yet to be released. When he filled all the space on his government computer with pornographic images, he downloaded more to CDs and DVDs that accumulated in boxes in his offices.

An SEC accountant attempted to access porn websites 1,800 times in a two-week period and had 600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive.

Another SEC accountant used his SEC-issued computer to upload his own sexually explicit videos onto porn websites he joined.

And another SEC accountant attempted to access porn sites 16,000 times in a single month.

Jesus Christ. I don't think I fucking BLINK 16,000 times a month. What is up with these people?

And wait a minute. "Her hard drive?" I know some chixx dig the porn and whatever, but don't you think of women generally having more discretion? Especially at work?

That's it. I am officially done feeling guilty about checking The Daily What and Mission Mission and SFist 12 times a day. If anyone says anything to me, I'll just point out that at least I don't have the past 3 years of Sexpigeon archived in boxes in my office. Jesus.

5 comments:

burritojustice.com said...

Presuming you heard about the Florida state senator who was caught watching porn on his government issued laptop, on the senate floor.

Best of all was how he then threatened the reporter who caught him.

Talk about a good reason for unicameral state legislatures.

Brittney said...

Yeahhh, the senator was looking at topless photos during a HEARING ABOUT AN ABORTION BAN.

That hurts my brain.

Tamagosan said...

Talk about relieving guilt, eh!

At least the ridiculous-amount-so-I'm-not-even-going-to-say-the-number blogs on my RSS reader are more or less clean. Except that Burrito Justice one. :-P

Whirlwind said...

in their defense 80% of those server requests were probably made by all the pop-ups and multiple windows that open when all you really wanted to do was look at hipster chicks with breastplate tattoos and... uh, point being nobody can look at that much porn while at work.

(I'm still waiting for the nashville post. wtf? 40goingon28 DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE. I said it.)

Rocco said...

yeah, what about the floods????

here is something straight from my facebook wall: "Hey National Media NASHVILLE IS UNDER WATER! You may not have heard because we are not acting crazy or stealing from our neighbors. People have died & are missing, thousands of jobs have been lost & countless are homeless now. So when you get around to it we will still be here - pulling people from houses with our own boats, taking care of those who need it and living up to our name THE VOLUNTEERS. REPORT THAT!"

so there you go.